Redifining Self Perception. 

A young woman I have come to admire greatly for a few reasons shared a post recently on her social media page challenging her Facebook circle to say one thing they love about themselves. Since it had been an area of struggle for me for decades to inwardly or outwardly speak love to myself, I decided to participate. Which led to me reflecting on how common it is to neglect oneself of self love and appreciation and what it takes to change it. I realized for me it was a story of struggle like it is for many others.

It was not long ago when it was hard for me to love myself, facing years of negative self talk and allowing others to determine my worth. It took a series of painful events to change my perspective; events I am now, in one way or another, grateful for. Embracing the pain, loss, and times of darkness allowed me to grow through them, so in a sense, they nurtured me. Much in the same way burning the land to ash makes fertile soil.

I think in order to love myself fully, it required shedding all notion of self and having every ounce of self worth, I thought I possessed, ripped away. I was left bare and vulnerable but most importantly unblemished. Not only was I free but I had the opportunity to create a masterpiece of self-love, and this time I chose differently when defining my worth; I covered my canvas with the colors of confidence instead of insecurity, boldness nix hesitancy, attentive not neglectful, forgiveness replaced resentment, and patience…. patience was was the centerpiece. These were things I had never given myself before, things I thought I had not earned.

I have come to see, I do not have to refuse an identity nor do I have to accept the ones others try to force upon me. The ability to create our own reality is one of the most beautiful of human capabilities to me. Only I possess the power to define me. Every person will have a different story to tell. We can all help each other on our quest for self-love. If you’d like, please share your story with us in the comments below.

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