The Space Between Us
Our family has spent much of the last several years in a kind of solitude. This time away from socializing enabled us to reflect upon our emotional, mental, and spiritual states of being. We made some discoveries, corrected some harmful behaviors and established some healthy boundaries. Unfortunately, the impact of our withdraw has not all been positive. Some of our friends and family felt neglected by our lack of communication and effort. While we didn’t want to hurt anyone, we simply intended to strengthen our bond as a family, we did and we can own that. Finding a way to explain why we are no longer in contact with many of the people we once were close to has been challenging; we feel that Francis Mallman explains it best, “I seldom invite people to have lunch or dinner with me but when I do they’re really chosen because I can’t spend time with people I don’t enjoy. I can’t do it anymore its theater. I make choices and that’s a beautiful thing about growing up, learning to say no, in a nice way you say no. I have this friend of mine…and we, you know, we parted. We just went different ways in our lives. Once he came back to me, he says, Francis, you don’t like me anymore, and I said no, it’s not that I don’t like you, we’ve chosen different styles of life… I still have these beautiful souvenirs of all the things we did together and how close we were and so on, but the truth is, it’s not that you bore me but I don’t enjoy talking to you anymore, I don’t want to fight with you but you know there is nothing in common between your life and mine nowadays…You know growing up has a bit to do with that, to be able to tell the truth, to show who you are, even if it hurts.”
Perhaps the space between us and those of our past relationships has grown too vast to bridge right now, which, is okay. However, we fully intend to take our time and patiently fill that space with a stronger foundation with those we desire to reconnect with, but if that is not possible we will allow that space to be filled with acceptance. We understand, sometimes, you may not fit into one each other’s lives. Growing apart and finding that you are completely different people is just a part of life. Maybe you find yourself in a similar position as we have or maybe you are the one wondering why someone has chosen to walk out of your life, either way, our hope is that this brings a different light to the situation and provides some peace.
Until next time…